“We all need to get the fuck out of Italy,” is what I should have said.
From Alex Roy’s series on The Drive about his experience at the Mille Miglia, a 1,000 mile road rally for classic cars.
“Listen to me, Tall Man. I’m terrified because I know everything you hear about the Gumball is true, that the real Miglia is a Gumball for much richer dudes who might be able to literally walk away from vehicular manslaughter. People are here in multi-million dollar cars, given a free pass by the local police, driving like fucking maniacs for four days running red lights, and here we are, in some old Morgan maintained by these fucking guys, whose only proof of insurance is an email from a guy who might be dead and the word of some kid who looks unsettlingly like Rocco Siffredi. We’re breaking every rule of common sense. I don’t know how much money you’ve paid, how much I owe, or how we’re going to get out of the country if something bad happens.”
I was being well paid by The Drive to find out whether the Mille Miglia—the legendary Italian road race—was just the Old Man’s Gumball, with a better publicist. You don’t need to be Nostradamus to know that where there are men, money and cars—sex, drugs and crashes must follow.
Now that our supercharged, wood-framed, 1,857-pound, 350+ horsepower, 1999 Morgan +8 rental car was lying in a ditch outside the third-rate Italian village of Sassocorvaro, all I had to do was find the sex and drugs.
Roy, President of a rental car agency Europe by Car, best known for his time in the Gumball and Bullrun rallys, and for setting an intercontinental driving record (NYC to LA) in 31 hours 4 minutes has recently become my favorite writer on the internet. His work with The Drive is incredibly fun. His psuedo-gonzo style reminds me of a modern-day Hunter S Thompson. Check out this whole series on the Mille, it’s great.
Typed on AEKII